After bidding adieu to my student life, I once again enter that familiar stage of "earning money."
"Where?" You might ask.
When the year 2014 ushered in I sent out my letters of intent and CV to four different schools. In that one particular school I begged three colleges (well, sort of begged) to open their doors for me. From those four schools I scratched out two, and the two remaining duked it out as to who will get (or entice) me as one of their faculty members.
I chose the other two - and from that school, two colleges remained.
From those two colleges, I chose the one who came first.
It was the first time in years that I had a very difficult dilemma. I wanted to get in this school (because it pays well, that's why). I wanted to get in my dream college, which I got shot down because of reasons that are all moot and bollocks. The two other colleges duked it out as well, but sadly, the one I wished to enter was, as the song would sing (just to make it a little dramatic), 25 minutes too late.
The decision I made was not an easy one. It took me weeks. It took me countless weighings. I listened to all the opinions people had to say. The thought of abandoning everything crossed my mind, and yes, I was stupid enough to try to entertain it.
Why did I choose the other choice? Ask me.
After so much deliberations and thinking with a little twinge of guilt, I wanted to live my life. I wanted to take the risk. People think they know me too much. People I love, yes and I love them too, wanted to make the decisions for me. With so much protection they have given me, I think that I might have lost myself in their protective bubbles. Didn't know which way to go. Didn't know what was the right one for me. And I think to some extent, lost the ability to decide for myself.
A friend once advised: "Make a decision, but don't regret it."
Ask me if I do.
Weeks ago I might say yes.
Now, I don't regret it - because this is a chance to see what I'm worth. What I am.
In both ways I have to adjust - to the system, to the people, to the quirks. I know how to get along with people. I just don't want to be a pushover. This is where the cliche applies: "What people think of you is their business, not yours."
Life is unpredictable. Make some choices - good or bad. Take a risk.
Who knows? Only God knows what the future has in store for us.
